It's Been A While

It's been a long time since I've written and some things have happened and of course the baby has gotten bigger. She's been eating biscuits, potatoes and cereal. She's not liking water, but she will. I'm determined for her to do so and not love juice all day.

She was dedicated to the Lord on November 15, 2009. She was hot and crying during the ceremony. But she calmed down after a bit.


Her first Christmas was very calm and mellow. She spent it with her Grandmother and had a good time.

Longer post later.

Soft Foods

I've started Trinity on "some" soft foods this month. She's been on breast milk (BM) exclusively for five months now and I felt (well actually her pediatrician as well) that her palette needed broadening. When I went to Target to pick up some wipes and new formula (BAD ENFAMIL), I decided to try a few fruits, just to experiment. The attendant in the isle was helpful and when I told her how old my child was, her response was "wow, you waited a long time." Did I? Are parents giving soft food straight out of the womb these days? My best friend told me about a mother giving rice cereal at one month! So is she raising a Grizzly Bear or something? I don't understand this push from most mothers away from BM and towards solids so soon. People are in such a hurry to make babies grow up. My sister in particular has been wanting to feed her a cheeseburger for months now and always asks when she can go on solids or when can I put cereal in her milk so she'll sleep through the night.
Well she already sleeps through the night without cereal, thank you very much. I'm sorry, I just wasn't up to manipulating my child's diet to suit my personal sleeping habits. But I could rant about this all day. Back to Target.

So I began with pears: Gerber: 1st Foods. Trinity gave me the ugly/eww/nasty face with the first spoonful and I take it because they were a bit tart, but once she realized they wouldn't make her sick (BAD ENFAMIL!) she swallowed the small spoonfuls with trepidation. Next we tried apples which went better, to the point where she was grabbing the spoon and trying to get it with her fingers. Ahh success! Apples it is. This weekend we will try rice cereal with fruit and see how well that goes. She still pretty much has BM as a back up, but I can't wait to buy all those pulverized vegetables so she'll be ready for mashed potatoes and yam at Thanksgiving.

A Good Night's Sleep

I haven't had one of those in a good long while. Except until two nights ago when my child decided she was going to sleep from 10:00 am to SIX O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is a God and he is smiling down on me. Thank you Lord. I totally didn't even expect this until at least a year or two. I just thought the walking zombie days were here for good while.

Of course this could very well be a false alarm. It's only been a week and she's bound to wake up in the middle of the night at least once. But for three or four days in a row. I actually looked forward to getting to bed with the prospect of waking up with the sun.

It may not be that big of a milestone, but it feels like a boulder. More details to come when someone can explain to me why my child will gaze at me with such intensity and then suddenly burst into tears for no apparent reason. Weird. Love her though.

Returning To Work

I went back to work on August 8, 2009 on a Wednesday, in the middle of the week as was advised by the lactation trainer. It wasn't bad the first day. The baby was with her father and I had three bottles ready to go. Being away from her is worst towards the end of the day when I know it's getting closer to me seeing her.

I call the house about twice a day to check on her and when my husband answers and puts her on speakerphone she responds to my voice, which is so cool. But other than having a shitload of work waiting for me, work is good and the baby is good while I'm at work.

I've had to adjust to my milk production being reduced since I'm not nursing around the clock, but the baby is still only taking me and we'll stay like that probably until she's six months old. She's is growing and as of late she's the smilingest (new word) baby I've ever seen. Sometimes I enjoy her so much I can't believe she's mine. I'm like, "wow, this belongs to me?" We take a trip in a few weeks and I hope she does well on the plane. I can't wait for my other family members to see her. She's mellowed out considerably around strangers and I don't mind taking her out and about around town. We went to Walmart yesterday and the colors and sounds seem to fascinate her. For the most part, for now, I've got a good baby.

The Skinny on Breastfeeding

I know this is a practice women have been performing for centuries, but nowadays we have to take a class to get information on how to do this since women (in the US anyway) I believe are steered towards bottle feeding. I believed and still find that it is what is healthiest for the baby. In today's economy, it's also the cheapest, but my main reason towards wanting to breastfeed was that is was the most "natural." I want the best for my child and I wanted to enjoy my time with the baby while on maternity leave with all the experience I can muster. This experience was my bonding time and I wanted to cherish it. But there's one thing you won't really know and that is the reality of true and unadulterated pain.

You may very well get your first taste (no pun intended) of "nipple trauma." No it's not some medical condition in the books. I'm making this up because it best describes the feeling. Since I'd had a Cesarean delivery, it took a few days for the milk to come or "let down." I had her on Monday and the milk didn't really get here until Saturday, so in between those days the baby didn't get too much and I'd supplement with formula every other feeding. So the consequence is: baby sucking and very little coming out. So what does the baby do? She sucks harder! Still not enough milk so the baby continues on this path and by the third day or fourth day, every three hours the dreaded feeding time approaches.

There were time I had to mentally prepare myself for a feeding. I'd take forever to get the pillows in the right position. I'd switch from the cross-cradle to the football hold and back. I'd massage the area and apologize to my nipple before allowing the baby to feed. At times I'd have to do a countdown. One...... two....... three........ and place the nipple in baby's trap, ahhh I mean mouth. Because some days, it did feel like one of those bear traps in the woods and it was hard for me to grasp how such a little mouth with no teeth could bite down so hard. Where was this strength coming from? How have women withstood this so many nears? Simple. Your nipples toughen and basically you adapt to the discomfort. See, I can call it discomfort now. That's a real sign of growth and acceptance.

About three weeks in I was starting to have doubts. The pediatrician suggested this go on for at least a year. A year?!? At the rate I was going it was looking more like three months maximum, but by the end of the first month, I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Each day and feeding was getting easier and as she was growing and needing more milk, the production went into overtime and I was forced to pump just to get some relief and to have some dry clothes as I was leaking all the time and the pads I was wearing were getting soaked.

The baby is 11 weeks now and I'm actually looking forward to feedings now. It's when she's the most calm and quiet (except for those time she seems to want to hold a conversation with you while feeding, that's funny to hear). Pumping is even more encouraging. When you first start pumping, it seems as if you go through all this hard work (pulling and tugging from a machine after just getting it from the baby) and for nothing. For like, one or two ounces. And that took 20 to 25 minutes. Yet again, I learned that the more often you pump the more you get each time and now I'm doing six to eight ounces within 10 to 15 minutes.

See, like I said before, the light at end of the tunnel is getting brighter and I'm coming through this section of early motherhood with a feeling of sheer victory. I have survived basic training. Or at least my version of it. I return to work in a few weeks and I'll have to mentally prepare myself for that first day. I think I'm missing her already.

I'm loving this little girl!

I'm about half way through my maternity leave and I feel the time slipping away. I'm also enjoying every moment with my daughter. I couldn't imagine having to go back to work two weeks ago. I'm thankful I have a job that will allow me so much time to take.

Trinity is growing. Her legs are getting plump. Her fingers and hands are filling in and her head is growing. It's getting harder to slip those onesies around her head. Also she's ready to fit into all those outfits she got during the baby showers. She's quite cute these days too. I know that sounds very boastful, but I'd gotta admit, she's a looker baby.

She's sleeping longer at night and I'm not as sleep deprived as the first month. I was clearly a walking zombie sometimes and at times I chose not to answer the phone (sorry folks). She's loving her baths thank goodness. It's my favorite time with her. Changing her diaper is quite an adventure. Sometimes I think she just like to pee on the changing table to show us who's really in charge. The pampers is just there for show sometimes I swear. She's funny like that and her father is learning that all the time. What can I can, expect the unexpected. She might just poop in between changes too, now that's really fun.

These days we're getting a little more spit up these days too and she drooling. But the cooing.. I love, love, love the cooing she's doing these days. I feel like she's talking to me and responding in kind to my crazy questions like "how is your morning" and "what you doing this morning"? She even laughed in her sleep. I met a woman the other day that says when babies smile in their sleep it means angels are talking to them and that was the most comforting thought. My grandparents, her deceased paternal grandfather and aunts and uncles would get such a kick out of her and I hope if they are talking to her that they are proud.

Next week, she's got to get her series of booster shots and she's gotta take some Tylenol before hand to offset the pain of the shots. I'm trying to prepare for it mentally, but Trinity will probably be more ready for it than I am. I'll report back to see if my worries were unnecessary.

Six Weeks In

Well it's been a month and as I don't have as much time to post as I did before, there isn't a lot to report other than the routine of changebaby-feedbaby-burpbaby-playwithbaby-putbabybacktosleep. Then I just watch her sleep when I'm not sleeping myself. It's no surprise, but of course I'm exhausted some days and mostly it's at night. But I'm in love and that conquers all, well it is now anyway. James is so smitten, he can't readily admit how much, but I've never seen him so tender, that's all I can say.

The breastfeeding is getting better. I must admit that a few weeks ago I didn't know how long I could do it. The sore nipples, the leaking, the trying to remember which breast you fed the child on last. I hope I can keep this together when I go back to work. I've got a month and a half now and I'm looking forward to returning to work a little, but I'm dreading possibly missing something that she does for the first time while I'm at work.

This month my baby has her second set of shots at the end of this month. I hope my husband and I will be okay with all the shots they have to give her. I'm dreading that doctor's appointment. She is gaining weight well though. I believe she's about 8 pounds at this point. I think she's gaining weight pretty steadily now. I can't wait to see how far she's come at the end of this month.