I am beginning to feel the weight of the baby now. I'm also beginning to feel the weight of this enormous task I'm about to undertake. I must be honest. I'm feeling nervous these days. Not necessarily worried, but it's that incredible urge to not want to make a mistake that you know will inevitably happen.
Will the room be ready and have everything it needs. Will people show up to my shower even though they're not giving RSVPs? Will my baby take to breastfeeding, regardless of how much I prepare my body for it? Will she have everything "I think" she needs? How will James "be" when the baby comes? How will I be? Will postpartum depression set in? Will I be able to sleep when I have the opportunity to sleep?
I know that most of the answers to these questions are positive and people tell me all the time that my instincts will kick in, but how do you know if they'll kick in if you've never used them before. I guess it'll be different when she's actually here and I know she's mine and the possessive mother-bear-protecting-her-cub thing will set in.
I'm carrying pretty low right now and she laying on my bladder real good these days, but I'm not as uncomfortable as I expected to be. None of this is a bad as people make it out to be. I'm not fully prepared for everything, but I'm not scared either. I'm just don't want to screw anything up. I consider myself an educated person and I want to act accordingly when it comes to my daughter, my husband and my family.
Oh yeah, new realization: Naps are your friends.
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