Four Days and a Baby

Well as the three followers that I have already know. I gave birth to my little angel Trinity Elizabeth on April 27, 2009 at 11:37 pm. I was scheduled to be induced on the 24th which I was feeling incredibly apprehensive about. One doctor in the practice was insisting on an Amniocentesis prior to induction which I thought was ridiculous and we ended up forgoing it anyway, but the induction was still on since my blood pressure had all of a sudden risen and hadn't decreased in the last week. I didn't have Pre-eclampsia, but the hypertension topped with the diabetes was putting me in a better category to have the baby early and avoid in complications closer to my due date only a week away.

So I'm starting Friday night with a closed cervix shut tighter than a Chick-Fil-A on Sunday and I was Misoprostol to get the ball rolling and to soften the cervix. Six hours later, nothing. The contractions might as well have been hunger pangs because I wasn't feeling a thing and the cervix was still at about a one. Saturday I'm given the old reliable Pitosin. This does nothing as well all day Saturday and I'm getting tired of sitting in bed and tired of having my blood sugar checked every two hours. My poor fingers were running out of room to get stuck.

Later that evening they try a Foley Bulb to try and open the cervix some more which is uncomfortable and causes cramping and only gets me to about three centimeters. :-(
At this point I ask for a little pain medication and am introduced to Stadol. Ohh joy. This was perhaps the closest I have ever gotten or will ever get to being high. It's the bestest of the best buzz you've ever had without feeling nauseated. Still no movement on the cervix. Sunday I get a bit of a rest to start fresh on Monday.

Then Monday morning the drama builds. My water is broken (an entirely weird and warm experience) and with a little Pitosin the contractions, "the real-deal Hollyfield" contractions begin and I start the huffing and puffing and breathing through them like a champ. By he evening I'm getting low on stamina and patience being so long in the induction process. I can't hold out any longer and go for the epidural, which makes labor easier no doubt and I get a few internal monitors placed while I'm numb "down there." After about thirty minutes, my OB notices a dramatic and prolonged drop in the heart rate of the baby during contractions and concludes that six more hours of this with me at about on four cm dilated isn't good for the baby and I'm whisked off to the OR for a C-Section.

In like twenty minutes the baby is delivered. I was awake the entire time and my husband was doing all he could to keep me calm because I was shaking like a leaf. The anesthesiologist keeps me posted on everything that's happening and I when I finally hear her cry and I am so relieved. She's here, finally. They show her to me with her eyes wide open and mine filled with tears. I'm taken to recovery for an hour and its the middle of the night by now on early Tuesday morning and it still hasn't sunken in yet that I'm a mother.

A week later it still isn't really real, until I got my first Mother's Day card today and I couldn't feel more lucky and blessed.

Countdown to Baby

1. Currently at 37 weeks, three to go.

2. Ankles still look like Chocolate Eclairs, but I'm dealing.

3. Have Crib (still not assembled)

4. Breastfeeding Class this weekend

5. Weight-gain at 16 pounds.

6. Somehow, I'm sleeping better at night.

7. Trinity is gaining momentum. I think he's given up the fight.

8. Can't forget to have my weekly Avocado Turkey Burger and Broccoli from Ruby Tuesday's this week.

9. Packing Overnight Bag this week.

10. Praying every night for my little one.

Bodily Changes Update

I really don't have a lot to complain about, but the last baby shower brought the onset of puff pasty ankles. They baked in the oven that was my shoe and have not come down. I know if normal for the last trimester and few months, but they just look so bad. I am keeping them elevated to the point where I'm considering sleeping in a L-shape at night, but so far they go down when I go down and get up when get up.

Okay complaint time over.


Note: I did not get horns waggled with the furniture. It arrived within a week's time and if only my spouse would get his lazy tail together to put it up I'd be a happier camper.

Baby Shower #2

Okay, so this was the official one thrown for me by my mother and sister. It was such a cool day. My aunts, cousins and friends from school were there. My mother fixed these programs with my baby picture on them, oh so cute. It was a bit cloudy and rainy throughout the afternoon, but when I arrived at the very church and in the very sanctuary where we got married seven years ago, the emotions were running rampant. There were lovely gifts, a fantabulous (new word) spread of food and drink and games ready to be played. There was a PowerPoint presentation in the back with pics of James and myself as a child. He was a cute baby, I must admit. My mother-in-law and I were both given sashes to wear at the shower. Mine read "Mother-to Be" and hers "Grandmother-to-Be." She loved it.

So we played games and eat and since the weather wasn't the best went straight into opening gifts and my friends quickly got an assembly line going. It all seemed to happen so fast and I tried to savour every moment, but I swear it took me a while to take it all in.

Pictures will come later, but I loved that so many relatives who drove from Virginia and Maryland to see me were there that I felt so honored and blessed. I could barely contain myself when it came time for me to say a few words. And after a few hours it was over, kind of like the wedding. I got some great gifts from friends, my mother's co-workers, cousins, godmothers, and James and I were able to take a picture with the Reverend that married us. He just happened to be there that day and the feeling that things were coming full circle was apparent.

I cannot express how loved and blessed I felt that day. I felt lucky to have so many care about me and the baby and show it with their time and attention. It's not often I get that kind of attention as I tend to shy away from it most of the time, but I welcomed it that day and I am forever truly grateful.

PS.
This may sound ungrateful, but okay so folks, I need diapers. Diapers are good.

Quick Update

Baby furniture ordered! Praying I didn't just get horns waggled.

Non-Sympathy Weight

I am beginning to feel the weight of the baby now. I'm also beginning to feel the weight of this enormous task I'm about to undertake. I must be honest. I'm feeling nervous these days. Not necessarily worried, but it's that incredible urge to not want to make a mistake that you know will inevitably happen.

Will the room be ready and have everything it needs. Will people show up to my shower even though they're not giving RSVPs? Will my baby take to breastfeeding, regardless of how much I prepare my body for it? Will she have everything "I think" she needs? How will James "be" when the baby comes? How will I be? Will postpartum depression set in? Will I be able to sleep when I have the opportunity to sleep?

I know that most of the answers to these questions are positive and people tell me all the time that my instincts will kick in, but how do you know if they'll kick in if you've never used them before. I guess it'll be different when she's actually here and I know she's mine and the possessive mother-bear-protecting-her-cub thing will set in.

I'm carrying pretty low right now and she laying on my bladder real good these days, but I'm not as uncomfortable as I expected to be. None of this is a bad as people make it out to be. I'm not fully prepared for everything, but I'm not scared either. I'm just don't want to screw anything up. I consider myself an educated person and I want to act accordingly when it comes to my daughter, my husband and my family.

Oh yeah, new realization: Naps are your friends.

Surprise Shower

Every year I attend a retreat that we call "Exhale" and during this trip we eat till we're silly, share our experiences over the past year, get messages, swap candles and craft and enjoy the lovely view of the North Carolina beach outside our window. It began as a birthday party over the weekend for two sisters and over the last 13 years has grown into an escape where people make of it what they need to.

So on the third day I received a surprise baby shower. Now I should have had a clue, but I felt since my sister was leaving early and nothing had happened, I'd seen everyone later this month. My sister had toted me around the outlet malls shopping for Coach bags and groceries. She was buying all these unnecessary items sporadically that were for the shower and I had no idea, like a tape measure and orange sherbet. I was thinking, "what is she doing?"

So when we get back to the house all of a sudden, my sister wants to use the elevator (yeah, the place is that big) to get to the kitchen and when I come out the door, I see this party awaiting my presence with food, gifts and decorations. I immediately go into tears because I've never had a surprise anything before. I felt so honored and special and loved at that moment and I was completely clueless.

After taking a few minutes to get myself together, I sat down and played games, opened gifts for my little girl and had a ball laughing and reading cards with 30 of best women around. I've sent out the thank you cards, but sometimes there just weren't enough words for me to use to show how gracious and appreciated I was that people thought enough of me and my child to take part. It was a special time and at the time I was overwhelmed, but have realized how blessed I am to have people around me who love me, care about me and wish the best for me in life.

I was answering questions from this mental health survey for pregnant women at my doctors office and I assume they were to probe for depression and many of them addressed whether we had anyone to go to if we needed help or if we felt our lives or our day wasn't going well. I never could say I never had anyone and that's how I knew I was different. I am blessed and so is my child because I know I'm not alone and will never be to bring this child into the world. So, thank you.